Exam season is a super stressful time for everyone, and you’re supposed to be thrilled when it’s over, ready to do all the things you wanted to do but couldn’t because you were stuck revising. For me, that post exam thrill lasted about 2 days, then things got weird…
Around two days after my exams were over I started feeling pretty rubbish. There was a constant guilt at the back of my mind that I should be doing something productive, whether it was blogging or going to the gym; except all I wanted to do was sleep. And that’s what I did, all I could do really.
It was an issue I didn’t really feel I could talk about with my friends, not because they wouldn’t be supportive because I know they would; it just felt wrong to be complaining about my feelings to people who still had a week of exams to get through.
To be perfectly candid, I’ve had depression in varying degrees of severity since I was around 16, I’m now 21 so me and my mental health issues have had quite some time together, enough time that I recognize when symptoms decide to rear their heads. I’ve been lucky through access to GP’s and support through my university that my mental health has been pretty stable the past several months, through medication and the occasional therapy appointment. But despite this support, depression can still and does bite.
It’s taken some time but I’m slowly learning to work with the part of my Brain that has these feelings, allowing myself to feel how I need to and accepting that it’s okay to have low periods and to not beat myself up for not always being ‘productive’. I’m also working towards developing better self-care methods so I have an outlet for when things do get a bit rough.
The key to it is guilt, and the need to stop feeling it. In today’s world it’s always drilled into us that we need to be constantly Doing Things in order to be successful, downtime is laziness and we should always be doing something that helps better ourselves.
It’s okay to have a lie in, it’s okay to skip a gym session, it’s okay to feel like crap because we’re human and this range of emotions is what makes us human.
I don’t really know where I’m going with this but since my blog content is based around fashion, beauty and living your ‘best life’ it didn’t feel right to continue that content without addressing what is a huge part of my life.
If you’re depressed, anxious or have anything else going on, know you’re not alone. It’s completely okay and valid to feel however you want and you’re are ALWAYS allowed to take time for yourself and seek support, and don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise.
mental health resources:
*DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a healthcare or mental health professional, I only speak from my own experiences, if you’re unsure about how you’re feeling please speak to a professional*